Review: Snow White and the Huntsmen

As great as the summer movie season is, it comes with the inevitable bitter taste of dissapointment. Lavish and engaging trailers and promotional campaigns make every film look like the next best one, only to be the best at mediocrity. We've come to understand that for every "Dark Knight" there are about 100 "Green Lantern's". Seriously, someone should give the creative director for trailers a massive bonus, because those guys are keeping studios afloat on tepid features. I'm especially focusing on the marketing team behind "Snow White and the Huntsmen".

This reimagining of the classic fairy tale, the second in 6 months, attempts to portray Snow White as the grim fairytale it was penned as, similar to 2010's "Alice in Wonderland". Like "Alice in Wonderland", the plot is not consistent with its imagery. Unlike the aforementioned, the visual tone is sparse and inconsistent. Our Snow White, the fairest princess in the kingdom, is imprisoned by the evil Queen. Upon her escape, she develops a friendship with the man hunting her, and together they assemble an army to overthrow the reign of the Queen.

What's most upsetting here is forgone potential. Certain images are unique and awe-inspiring. Charlize Theron, continuing her reign as Queen of the cinema in 2012, gives her all as the Queen. Still, she looks like a stage actor rehearsing in an audition room- it comes across as silly because the rest of the set feels incomplete.

And putting the most stale actress in the industry opposite juggernaut Theron was atrocious decision-making; it makes her look even more foolish than she has in the "Twilight" series. Stewart continues to portray her angsty and conflicted Bella Swan whilst donning battle armor. Most of the other performers are equally laughable, particularly the uncomfortably unfunny comic relief provided by the dwarves.

Seeing this the day after "Prometheus" revealed how genre blending is an art. "Snow White" is inconsistent as hell, appearing to borrow from a shmorgosborgue (sp?) of discarded sets and scenarios from greater works. At one moment it's a dark, adult oriented fantasy, then it feebily attempts at humor, followed by a lazy tacked-on feminist approach to fairy tales. The worst offense is the medieval "Lord of the Rings" esque conclusion, which could not have been more anticlimatic; a 2 minute battle that the whole film prepares us for, followed by the swift death of the Queen.

What's most irksome about "Snow White" is that it has elements of a good movie embedded within mediocre presentation. Had the director been granted another few months to cut some of the filler content, fully realize the enviroments and tighten the tone, this movie could have worked. Instead, we get yet another half-assed summer popcorn flick.

And for fuck's sake, stop hiring Kristen Stewart in prolific starring roles.

Grade: C-